Sunday, March 16, 2008
Snow
dear friend,
yesterday, i think it was,
maybe the day before ...
anyway, very recently,
i was shooting video on the patio
with the twins
and things were
...
irie
...
you know?
like on amie's patio when everything is going amie's way
and then ...
something white started falling from the sky
it was 80 degrees
down from the peak, which was 85,
and it looked almost like snow
at least in the way it drifted
i have no idea what it was - but you can actually see some of it on the video
by the way,
it was a video i made called
- how to wear a skirt -
for a new mother-to-bee i work with,
named sarah.
sarah snow.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Oh
leave the “o”
it’s the hook
i was singing blue’s travelers in the yellow submarine
for playreal
for real real
leave the “o”
it’s the hook
see? texas babci, which is john’s nanny, according to ivory tonight during a serious discussion in the kitchen ...
see? texas babci, john’s nanny, was having creative time with the big boys to give me a chance to go to wal-mart, which is, in reality, one of the only chances this single mother of four boys gets out of the house and accomplishes ANYTHING – when someone entertains the boys for a bit :)(: thank you, mama! you rock!
my mom instructed the two big boys in the arduous task of designing these cute little stained-glass-looking, arts-n-crafty christmas ornaments. what you do see, is you drop these little melty colored beads by tweezers into the metal ornament mold and then bake it in the oven.
my mom is really awesome like that. she home-schooled her six children to the point of her own physical exhaustion. I remember her falling asleep reading aloud to us in our little schoolroom. her eyes would close and she would keep talking. if you can mentally compare our thoughts to trains, then you can imagine hers derailing. she would be reading something aloud, as i said, and then you could tell when she started falling asleep because her words would keep coming out of her mouth but with absolutely no meaning attached. like they had all fallen out of her short term memory and ... see? ... her tongue was a magnet and the words were metal shavings and whichever words clinked out first were the ones that fell out first – stuck to her tongue’s memory instead of her mind’s.
i don’t remember ever being young enough to not notice my mom. thank god for giving me the one i got.
see?
i just remember loving her so much it’d hurt cuz i didn’t see no one else lovin’ ‘er like that and how’s a body s’ppos’d ta go on with all that Good goin’ unwatched.
remember that time before i knew i was supposed to stay inside all that pretty round fat, you was sick and thirsty and i ain’t never knowed how ta be not answerin’ ya so i brought ‘er ta bring ya and then when you stopped feelin insideout from alla me bein outside a alla you for the first time since ever we was, you looked on me and your eyes hummed to me about earth
you are my baby
you live in this skin
this skin that your in
my skin put you in
and in it you’ll stay
my baby all day
maybe not many times before that, but definitely that time, two eyes hummed we’ll see
and we’ll see ...
we’ll see means “maybee”
hey, shannon, you were right
you predicted a world in the future where capital letters weren’t used so as not to discriminate
if my fingers are citizens and energy spent is being equally allocated – and our past’s future selves, Now – then, yes, you were right
fingers, now choose to dignify no letters above any others simply because we’re in a digital world – we’re teaching ourselves to record faster and faster and faster
so
we’re recording ...
bigger and bigger chunks?
supposedly ...
hmmm ...
it’s the hook
i was singing blue’s travelers in the yellow submarine
for playreal
for real real
leave the “o”
it’s the hook
see? texas babci, which is john’s nanny, according to ivory tonight during a serious discussion in the kitchen ...
see? texas babci, john’s nanny, was having creative time with the big boys to give me a chance to go to wal-mart, which is, in reality, one of the only chances this single mother of four boys gets out of the house and accomplishes ANYTHING – when someone entertains the boys for a bit :)(: thank you, mama! you rock!
my mom instructed the two big boys in the arduous task of designing these cute little stained-glass-looking, arts-n-crafty christmas ornaments. what you do see, is you drop these little melty colored beads by tweezers into the metal ornament mold and then bake it in the oven.
my mom is really awesome like that. she home-schooled her six children to the point of her own physical exhaustion. I remember her falling asleep reading aloud to us in our little schoolroom. her eyes would close and she would keep talking. if you can mentally compare our thoughts to trains, then you can imagine hers derailing. she would be reading something aloud, as i said, and then you could tell when she started falling asleep because her words would keep coming out of her mouth but with absolutely no meaning attached. like they had all fallen out of her short term memory and ... see? ... her tongue was a magnet and the words were metal shavings and whichever words clinked out first were the ones that fell out first – stuck to her tongue’s memory instead of her mind’s.
i don’t remember ever being young enough to not notice my mom. thank god for giving me the one i got.
see?
i just remember loving her so much it’d hurt cuz i didn’t see no one else lovin’ ‘er like that and how’s a body s’ppos’d ta go on with all that Good goin’ unwatched.
remember that time before i knew i was supposed to stay inside all that pretty round fat, you was sick and thirsty and i ain’t never knowed how ta be not answerin’ ya so i brought ‘er ta bring ya and then when you stopped feelin insideout from alla me bein outside a alla you for the first time since ever we was, you looked on me and your eyes hummed to me about earth
you are my baby
you live in this skin
this skin that your in
my skin put you in
and in it you’ll stay
my baby all day
maybe not many times before that, but definitely that time, two eyes hummed we’ll see
and we’ll see ...
we’ll see means “maybee”
hey, shannon, you were right
you predicted a world in the future where capital letters weren’t used so as not to discriminate
if my fingers are citizens and energy spent is being equally allocated – and our past’s future selves, Now – then, yes, you were right
fingers, now choose to dignify no letters above any others simply because we’re in a digital world – we’re teaching ourselves to record faster and faster and faster
so
we’re recording ...
bigger and bigger chunks?
supposedly ...
hmmm ...
Monday, December 31, 2007
Irie
No matter my weakness,
No matter my failure,
If this is it,
If this is as good as it gets,
I am proud to say,
That in all of my life,
I accomplished this.
My Favorite Goodbye
Today is my goodbye to 2007 and I'm having a blast!
I am going to bury it with all the flare of a Viking funeral and glory in what I've turned myself into thus far while embracing the me I wish to fully be.
I had mentally set aside 2008 as an exciting year since my birthday will be 08-08-08 and I love things in threes. But, that was long ago ... long before I thought the year 2000 was a thing I would touch. When you are a child, anything that you cannot feel immediately is far, far away, and NOW, back then, was just that.
Far, far away.
Back then, I would use my future self as a focal point. My anchor to the future to pull myself and hold myself to my goals.
Now, while watching the innocence in my children's eyes and the purity of their love for all the things they love, I have chosen a new focal point.
Today is an exciting day for me. I have prepared for this mental shift for a long time and I am enjoying the snakelike slithering out of a skin that was beautiful while it was mine.
Today I kiss every part of me that I've built and I say, good job, Ms. Johnson.
I bid farewell to the anchor that I have clenched for my entire life, and, so far, this is my favorite goodbye.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Anatomy of Now - PS
1. aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (like kevin on home alone) hehehehe ...
oh my goodness, it's like a living nightmare!
(all of this is tongue in cheek, so i hope you have on your bigeyedbigsmiledokayi'mreadyforthepunchlineevenifitscrappybecauseiloveanyexcusetolaugh face on)
it's a living friggin nightmare!
just as i'm sending you the wah-wah-my-ear-hurts email accompanied by mentally flushing any and all mental references about ears that might make me cringe in imagined pain (it even includes such memories as adrienne's famous ear wig stories because i remember listening and imagining a bug with crunchy but fat and squirmy legs and dry raspy crispy bug parts rolling around in my ear trying to find a better position to dig in and chew its way deeper into the too tender part that if accidentally hit made me feel insideout with pain - oh yeah - it goes back that far) so - i'm trying to repel all ear thoughts and attract warm cheesy thoughts like the sandwich i was going to go grill in the cold dark kitchen
just as i'm doing that - oh
my
gah
can
you
bee
leave
ITTTTTah (like the way the twins say iT)
look was friggin Internetbanneradvertisementthing was IN MY FACE - and, may i just say, it paralyzed me with fear
(you don't even have to explore the site, mama - just imagine you're me - now - look at the title)
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (like kevin on home alone) (now, trying to keep poker face for my dramatic exit)
oh my word! it's a living nightmare!
WWW.EAR-CANDLES.NET
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (like kevin on home alone)
I have no words for the sheer terror, the sheer horror this creates in me.
okay,
number 2.) please reply so i'll know you got this, so, in case you show up on my front door with the i'msorryijustgotworried eyes i'll know it's because you won't get this til you check your email at home
hehehehe - yay babci - we can't help it, we worry
don't be worried - i'm home with migraine & can't talk on phone
love yew!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
